Wednesday, September 17, 2008

A very personal post

Just to warn you this is a very personal post so if you are not ready to read about sex and love then stop reading now.

I was with my mommy friends today and we somehow got on the topic of "open marriages". Now I am not one to openly talk about my marriage and today was one of those days. They were talking about how "open marriages" were detrimental to the woman and the relationship. I, for one, am here to say that is not always the case. I have an open marriage and by that I mean we talk about everything.

There is not a lot we don't tell each other. I know he is attracted to these other women he sees and vice versa, there's nothing wrong with that. If you are not open and honest with the person you are with then you can't be comfortable with them.

Now some of yo may be thinking, does he openly do it in front of me? Do I find that rude? Not all. I know he loves me (and vice versa) and that these women (men) are just for fun. They are not serious and will never be serious. One of the ladies said "When your fantasy becomes real life, then you have a problem." Personally I see nothing wrong with letting your fantasies come true. If it is in a comfortable, controlled setting.

There is no way that I would have, or will, tell these ladies about my marriage. They are not open enough to take what I have to say seriously.

Friday, September 5, 2008

This is from about 2 weeks ago but has been going on for awhile. (I had to grab it from one of my mommy boards instead of typing it all over again)

I work at a day care that is in a dance studio and by that I mean that it's little kids during the morning and then ballet and ariels in the afternoon and evening. So of course there is a wall of mirrors and hardwood floors. The bathroom is in the back part of the room, after you walk thru the kitchen. It's not that big of a kitchen, maybe 10 steps from one end to the bathroom.

There is one little girl there, J, who has gotten to be very pushy in the past month. When one of the other kids says they have to go potty, she suddenly has to go also and gets to the bathroom first and then just sits on the potty, which has resulted in a couple of kids going potty on themselves. This has happened a few times, once where my daughter was involved (she was keeping a child out of the bathroom as well). Now J has been told that she can't do that, that it's not nice, etc and that she needs to wait until that person has come out of the bathroom before she can go.

She has also pushed her way to the front of the line to wash hands. I know this for a fact because on Monday there were 4 kids in line waiting for me to help them wash their hands while i was at the other end of the room talking to J and 2 other kids. I told them to go get in line and by the time I got to the sink she was standing at the sink washing her hands while the 4 kids who were already there were still waiting. That resulted in a time-out.

She is an only child but that doesn't excuse her need to push other kids around. Any time a kid says something is wrong or needs something she suddenly has the same problem or need. She has been at the school since the beginning of summer (June) so she knows the rules and how things work.

On Monday also she pushed one of the other kids off the potty so she could go. The other little girl had her pants and panties down and was crying when I walked in to see what the problem was. That was the final straw. S, who actually runs the school, sat her down and told her that if she continues to do this pushing thing with the potty, that we will get a baby potty and she will have to use that when she needs to go and not go into the bathroom because she can't be trusted to go in the other room without us. Now, yes the potty will be in the main room, but it's not like we are going to sit her in the middle of the room and make her go. Hubby says that we can't humiliate her like that personally I don't see it that way.

There are plenty of people who put the potty in the living room when they are potty training their child and the whole family sees it happen and if it was my daughter that was doing this I have no problem with it. If that's what it takes for her to understand that she can't push her way into the bathroom and make other kids go potty on themselves then so be it. It's also something that needs to be addressed at home. Her parents need to talk to her about what she is doing.

So my question to you is this? Do you think we are in the wrong for telling J that if she continues to push she will use a baby potty in the main room or not come back at all? Are we humiliating her? (Oh there is a couch area for the ones that are there all day so they can take a nap, more than likely the potty will be in that area.)

Today it happened again. J made Savie wait so long to get on the potty that she went on herself and left a trail of it on the floor. I was livid. Not because I had to clean it up but because when I told J what she did, and had Savie turn around so she could see for herself, she laughed and said "ha, ha you went potty on yourself." That is not ok. She knows what she did and that it was wrong and the fact that she thought it was funny just makes it worse. I have no hard feelings I am just ready for it to stop.